break bread like you mean it


This was taken when I was sitting across from my mom at the café across from the Durham Cathedral and the Durham Castle. I’ve been meaning to write more about the particulars of this trip. There was so much we saw and did. You’d be surprised how well Fafa gets around.

The card that says, ‘Its all my parents fault,’ often makes me laugh.

It’s meant to be ironical folks. I blame my parents for very little. I used to, but eventually realised it was a waste of time. At some point one has to simply grow up.

You know what I blame my parents for? How decent I turned out. What a stand up guy I am? That’s Martha Frances and Bill Auvenshine’s doing.

I learned from my dad that you can show up for life. Even when you don’t feel like it. He was the kind of person who was there when he said he was coming. Actually, he was regularly early. And if I was late? It was ok. He had a book to read.

Time was fluid with him. As long as he was punctual, that’s all that mattered.

From my mom? What’d I learn?

You really want to know?

I learned and still learn from her that it’s never too late. Never. Forgiveness is still possible. There’s still hope.

She was a widowed before my birth and a single mom with my brother Michael just a few years later.

She persevered.

Did she blame her parents? She did not.

They did the best they could. Really.

While you break bread with your family this holiday season, cut your folks some slack. They won’t always be around.

Try being grateful for a change. Would it really hurt to try a bit of gratitude?


  1. I can honestly say I have never blamed my parents for anything in my life. I hope that does not sound smug, it just is so. Suziecat and I will be doing our bread breaking together in our separate ways, she in her feline way of complete indifference and I being thankful I am still around!
    I hope you and Ella and Louis will be doing it happily, wherever you are. every good wish to you, my friend.

    1. So kind of you Barbara. One of the high points of 2012 was meeting you in person. I can see you and your cat enjoying the quiet days, and I assure you Ella and Louis are only calm when they’re napping. Otherwise, we’ve got to be moving.

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